Run Forest Run

I signed up for Adidas Sundown Marathon for no reason and since then I have been jogging regulary at East Coast Park. I took 2hrs and 36mins to complete my first 21km marathon on 21st May and signed up for the Singapore Bay Run happening on 12th Sept'10. Before this year, I do jog occasionally but never jog for more than 10km let alone 21km. Ever since ths year, I started to enjoy jogging more the ever. Even though my knee starts to hurt every time I jog beyond 15km and had to take glucosamine daily, I don't think I will give up any time soon. Jogging is both physical and mental training. I like this exercise as it takes a lot of mind over body to complete the journey. A lot of will power and determination are required more than just physical stamina.

21km was a long, lonely and painful journey especially when the it was a night marathon. After 8km, I was having difficulty in controlling my breathing and by the time I reached 11km, I couldn't concentrate on what my mp3 was playing. By 16km, my knee was killing me and I had to slow down to almost walking. The last 5km was a torture, its seems to take forever to complete... The greatest achievement was when I crossed the finishing line and received the medal... all the pains were forgotten at that moment.....

2 months left to Singapore Bay Run, my target for this marathon is to complete below 2hr and 20mins. Wanted to signed up for Standard Chartered 42km Marathon but it was closed for registration by the time I decide between 21km and 42km.... Anyway I don't think I am ready for 42km at this time. Hopefully by next year I will take part in 42km in both Adidas and Standard Chartered Run. As for the Singapore Bay run, i guess this will be my first and last.

I am back

Its been more than 2 years since I visited my own blog.... Alot of things had happened in the past 2 years and many new plans lies ahead...
Wonder if anyone still checking out my blog once in a while.. if you are reading my blog, I am sorry for the lapse. Stay in tune for more updates coming up

Pain in the Ass

Got 2 days of MC today... haiz... feel so boring at home.. Always wanted to have a break like today but then now that I am away from working, I can't help thinking about work.....

Just called Ah Niu to meet up for lunch later but instead he want me to go over his place to pack his room, this lazy burger is finally clearing up his room after 10 over years. His room is the worst I have ever seen... clothes everywhere, ashtray on the bed, even poly notes still stuffed somewhere in the shelves.. Don't think I am in the condition to enter his dusty room today... So in the end we planned to meet up for lunch then go down to garage in AMK to service his car.

Known this guy for over 10yrs ... we were the best buddy in poly till now. Though at times we had our differences but the bond is still strong. Even our mums become good friends through us as we arrange them for mahjong session together. Ah Niu is 3 years older than me but I always treat him as my younger brother as I always had to ensure he revise his work and wake up on time. Even up to now, I still have to scold him at times when I see that he is going in the wrong direction of life... Just like now that he has ORD, I have to keep checking on him as he will be spending his time on mahjong than finding job. Even his resume is done by me...

Everytime I am at his place, his mum will nag at both of us for smoking, for drinking, for gambling, I was nagged by his mum for not spending time with his son when I was attached while he was single. Being his brother for so many years, I am used to his mum nagging already. Next month he is moving to Woodlands so finally willing to pack his stuff and throw away those junk... I can imagine the mess in his room now... He is so looking forward to moving to Woodlands as it would be easy for us to meet up for coffee and to pump petrol in JB. Hope it won't be a nightmare for me when his mum & my mum join force to nag at us.....

Bombs away

This morning when I enter the office, I was presented with 2 bombs again by K.A...... I really wish to sing this song by Air Supply to him '...just when I thought I was over you.....' Last week I was tasked to take over some test which wasn't even supposed to be mine.... spent the enitre morning in the cleanroom collecting data, crunched 56 csv file into excel. This morning he came to me and said he want to try moving in the measurement point inward by 5mm... OMG.... which means I have to re-do everything all over again.... after dropping a bomb on me, he asked me to join me for a puff, then in the smoking room, he dropped me another bomb...... When will I get able to get off the hook...... Spent the entire day trying to denotate one of the bombs he dropped on me last week. By night, I managed to send back to him, hope he won't come looking for me again when he sees my mail tomorrow morning.....

Is it true that in life, men will not or seldom have what they cherish most? How about men will not or seldom cherish what they have in life? Read a blog today about a girl and her 10 years of relationship on and off with the same guy.... It sound very dramatic for 2 person to be falling in and out of love for 3 times over a period of 10 years.... will there be a fourth? Nobody knows I guess.... Can a closed chapter be open again or a new chapter ready to be written?

I feel that the most important factor in a relationship is communication. Some will say to be tolerance towards each other... Mm.. that is important too but if a couple is unable to communicate, how long can one tolerate another? It is never easy to maintain a relationship, much worse than friendship or kinship....

Bad Hair Day

Spent the whole sunday in company working on an application..... re-run through the algorithmn step by step countless time but couldn't understand what went wrong.... one stick of cigarette after the other, one cup of coffee after the other.... just couldn't find an answer to it.... finally I decided to go into the cleanroom to 'talk' to my baby to understand what went wrong with her. I always treat all my metrology equipments as my children. Though they can't speak but each of them have their unique sense. They are my other 5 sense far beyond which human could do... When I check on this babe in the evening, everything seems fine.. did some basic functional check on her system and she respond accordingly.... Just like my mentor, whenever there is problem with the equipment, it feels like one of my kids falling sick. At times I reprimand my assistants when I feel they ill-treat my babies. Failing to take good care of them causing them to be sick or injuried.

When I returned to office and tried to access this babe from the office, she start to misbehave again... Seems like I have to be in the cleanroom with her then she will behave and provide me with logical answer. Finally my conclusion is there is some bug with the offline PC causing failure in data analysis. Sigh... looks like I have to spend the entire day in the cleanroom with her instead of accessing in the office...

Bought a tube of hair straightener yesterday at the pharmacy. I read through the instruction briefly and applied it straight to my hair. When I wash my hair an hour later... oh my gosh... my hair was all dried & straight. So straight that it could stand without gel... Wonder if I would attract some weird look from people in the company tomorrow... Hope I can revert back after a few wash...

Fighter no more

So tired.....wonder am I sending punches to my sandbag or just giving my sandbag massage.

My best sparing buddy
Who does the gloves protect? The bag or me?
Enjoy the pain of raw fresh

....Give me one moment in time.....

Heard over the radio on a program about music composer, song writer and producer while driving home today. This reminds me of a piece of music I once wrote years ago.... really hope there will be a day I can play it again on the sax... How I missed those days in the band.... Everyday we would stay in the band room after lesson till late in the evening. A group of us having our own mini concert everyday...... I still remember my favourite piece was ' One moment in time'. Till today its still my favourite but doesn't have to chance to listen to it again. Guess it was really only one moment in time....

Fight against life, you will never win

Its been a long time since I seriously workout on my sandbag. By the time I removed my gloves, my knuckles were swollen & bleeding. Looks like its gonna take some time before I get my delicate skin seasoned again.

Looked at myself for a long time in the mirror in the shower..... I saw myself as a kid, saw myself as a teenager and now..... I realised that I have really changed alot over the years but did I become who I wished to be or did I blindly climb the coporate ladder without knowing where I am heading or what I actually want... This evening, I sat at my desk staring at the laptop for a long time, I felt very tired inside out.... My mind went blank....

No matter how powerful or smart a person is, he or she can never outsmart or fight against life. In some part of our lives, we lost what thought we will have forever & at some point of life, we found what we thought we had lost forever.... All these are far beyond our control even the most power man on earth has no control over..... Many times, I wish to give up everything & live a simple life somewhere where I don't have to be on guard against anyone.

I am who I am because of my own choice or because of circumstance? One thing I am very sure, I didn't become who I wanted to be when I grow up. I remember I told my dad that I wanted to be a musican, a saxophonist when I grow up. Even when my dad went bankrupt, I never give up my dream. I did everything I could to get in SP just to be in the band so that I could continue with my dream but eventually I had to give it up because I couldn't cope with my school work. Was that consider my own choice or was it circumstance that changed my dream?

1st JSPS Gathering

Yesterday we had our 1st JSPS gathering finally after 16years.. ok maybe not the first for some but at least the first for me.... Though its our first meeting after so many years but we are all able to click right away. Initially I expect we might not be able to find any topic or feel strange sitting together for dinner after so long but in the end there were so much to talk that I guess we were the loudest table in the restaurant.

After dinner, we move on to Farm Cafe to continue catching up on the past. Never run out of topics and jokes about the past. I really missed the good old days... too bad the original building we studied in had tore down... even our favourite hangout.. the ghost trees were not there anymore.... It seems that I was the only one who had drastic change in appearance over the years while others remain the same. Even my best friend fail to recognise me....

I've been arrowed to organise the next gathering in May.... Hope I am able to gether more JSPS members and a better event. So if there is any JSPS students graduated from 1991 class 6/3, please join us in the next gathering in May....

All dogs go to heaven

Many years back, J told me that she once run away from home with her dog, Chelsea, when her mum scolded Chelsea and threathened to get rid of her. She took her bag and left home with Chelsea. The entire family went looking for her but in vain. Actually she was just sitting at the void deck a block away from day to night. I really find her behavior adorable and admire her for her love towards Chelsea. Recently I heard of another person.. Mmm.. let's just call her Panda heehee... Panda ran away from home too with her dog, Miko. But at least its only for a walk and reutrned after she cooled down.

I have always wanted to keep a dog but never had the time to do so. My favorites are Husky & Retriever but both are too big to be kept in HDB. Wonder if I have to wait till I am retired before I can afford the time to own a dog. sigh... If i have a dog, I would bring her out every weekend to the beach or park, laze at home watching TV together or simple wander the street at night....

Too good to be true???

This afternoon, I received a letter from my manager.... its a promotion letter. 3 promotions in 3 1/2 years seems too good to be true but I don't seems to be excited or happy. Of course I welcome the pay increment but it doesn't seems to sound attractive to me anymore....

At times when I take a break and smoke at the roof top, I keep asking myself what am I working for..... There is no answer... Initially when I joined this company, its just for a living. Earning barely 2k a month then work became a way for me to escape from reality and become a self-challenge till now I don't even why I am working so hard. I don't even know where is the destination..... Just when I have decided to leave for another job, this promotion came and hold me back.... not really for the money but for the person who recommended me for promotion. If I were to leave at this time, it would reflect badly on his judgement....

Lost & Found

Its been a week since I got my first PDA phone, HTC Touch Dual. Other than no WIFI & rather soft speaker, basically I have no other complaint about the phone. Now I can even write my blog while on the move.

A few days ago, I found 2 of my primary school friends through Friendster. After losing contact for more than 16years, its really surprise to be able to come into contact again. I am really looking forward for the gathering.

Monogamy Vs Polygamy

I always support monogamy & strongly object polygamy. Mew asked me today if it is possible for a person to fall in love with 2 person at the same time. I feel that this is a very subjective question. A mother can love both children equally at the same time but can a guy love 2 women at the same time? My opinion is if a guy were to claim that he love 2 women at the same time, the truth is he only love himself.

Scenerio1: If he were to marry one of the women & kept the other as mistress, he is cheating at least one. Most probably the wife in most cases. If the wife were to know, she will be deeply hurt so if a guy love the woman, why would he be cheating on her.

Scenerio 2: If the wife does not know about it forever & he maintain the relation. Most probably, he has no plan future plan for the mistress but just dragging her. The mistress will be wasting her youth on something with no return. Maybe in love, we don't expect anything in return but what will happen to her when she is old or during festival? The man will return to his wife & kids while she will be all alone.

So my conclusion, men out there who are reading this. there is no secret that can be kept forever. If up to this point, you still strongly believes that you love both women equally, then someday you will be causing hurt to either one of the women or both. Especially for married men, if you truly love another woman but unable to leave your wife for the other, why cling on to her instead of letting her go in search of someone who can give her a future. Think again, while you are celebrating festive season with your wife or girlfriend, what happened to the other woman? What happen to her in many years to come? Can you be there for her whenever she needed help, can you be there when she is feeling down or when she is sick? Face the fact, men who are in this situation, you only love yourself & no one else.

Just another day

I realised that I always start my blog with ' Its been a busy week...' So as usual, its still a busy week after I am back from Japan. Right after I am back, I was scheduled for some soft skill course from Monday til Wednesday. Was suppose to attend a conference on wednesday but had to turn it down as it crashed with my course.

After I did my presentation in Singapore & Japan, it seems do be the begining of more work instead of the end. Japan side is starting to evaluate their application methodology base on my material & data while Singapore side is also plannig to make changes. I seems to be digging a deeper hole for myself. My SVP invite me to visit Japan again next month but I turned it down. I guess if a person stay at one point for too long, his value depreciate. No point holding on to old cheeze, I prefer finding new cheeze though not sure if there is any out there. Now that I have obtain the foundation & knowledge on this item, I wish to move on to something new instead of holding on to the same thing.

Before I left Japan, my SVP told me that he is very happy that I have deep understanding on this topic I presented but at the same time worried that I might leave to join the OEM or competitor. Actually I once thought of joining the vendors but then when I look for it from another angle, there seems nothing much to look forward to being a service engineer. I mean how far can I progress from there? 5 years down the road, what am I? Still a service engineer or a senior service engineer? So if I leave my current job for service engineer, it seems to be jumping from one shit hole to another.

Today when I take a break from work and let my mind wonder. I remembered someone once told me that everything in this world has an expiry date. From things we use to things we consume, even fashion. So how about feelings? I guess feeling has expiry date too its just that some realised in the middle of the relation while others don't live long to realise it. Although fashion expires but at times it will return after a few years... I wonder if feelings have the same trend too. Will once lost feeling return again after some years down the road? I have seen a few cases where couples together for years break off for a few years and end up getting married again. So what exactly is feeling? Does it always come & go, what are the affecting factors.... How do we keep it with us or how did we lost it? Even if I make use of MiniTab software to compute & analysis, there is no clear correlation or trend...... Conclusion : Feeling is something that can be explain with science, mathematic or logic. Unable to set any definiton, equation or even program to forcast trend or analyze best condition setting...

Japan-ChiBa-Ichihara

Finally back to Singapore after 2 days in Japan. It was a tired but fruitful trip. Flew off from Singapore on Thursday night, reached Japan, Narita Airport at 7am in the morning. It was only 2deg C that morning and I was freezing like hell standing outside the airport smoking. My first impression of Japan... the air is so fresh and the streets are clean. From Narita Airport, I took another hour of train ride to Chiba then another train to Yawatajuku & finally a cab to company. By the time I reached, I was totally exhausted.....



Working in this company for 3 years plus, this was my first time visiting our plant in Japan. The only person I know in Japan is my ex SVP who was transfered back to Japan from Singapore recently. He is also the one who requested me to go all the way to Japan to do the presentation. Luckily the presentation went on very smoothly & received many positive feedback. I still remember when I did my first presentation in Singapore during the Technical Discussion Conference 2 years back, my ex SVP commented that the presentation was very short & not informative. My confidence was totally crushed that time......

Previously when my ex SVP was in Singapore, I never had the chance to really speak to him but this trip I get to spend a lot of time with him over lunch & dinner. He taught me alot about the culture & history in Japan & I also get to know more about him & his thinking over many things. We had dinner in this restuarant near the hotel I stayed that night. One thing special about this restuarant is that they have their own chicken farm therefore the chicken are much more fresh than the ones in supermarket. This is the first time I had chicken sashimi, meaning raw chicken. The texture of cooked & raw chicken are totally different. I guess alot depend on the freshness & also the skill of the chief. Breast meat & thigh meat is totally different in texture & liver is even weird. We spent about 4 hours in the restaurant eating, drinking & chatting. He even took the effort to prepare maps for me to visit Tokyo the next day but in the end, I gave up the idea of going after looking at the map of the Japan railway lines. Just JR railway alone, there are 35lines & some stations have more than 10 platforms.

The next day, I took a train to ChiBa & spent a few hours walking around alone. ChiBa is a prefecture much smaller than Tokyo with only 2 shopping malls. After having my lunch in a small resturant, I headed for the airport. That day was the highest temperature in the 2 days I spent in Japan. Although it was 12deg C but with the wind blowing, I was still feeling pretty cold.
After 7 hours of flight, I returned to Sinapore on Sunday morning.

Though the time spent in Japan was short but I really enjoyed the trip.

Clementi

Its been a few years since I last went to Clementi. This afternoon when I went to Clementi again, I noticed that so much had changed. Coffebean is not there anymore, alot of new shops appear.....
'Hua Hua' is still around but I wonder is it still the same owner.... Used to be very familiar with Clementi in the past but now feel like a stranger when I am there.

5 more days before flying to Japan for presentation, still not done with my material.... I have alot of new findings but still haven't figure out how to present the ideas & findings.....

Conclusion.. Stress......

Nihon e ikimasu

Another 10 days, I will be in Japan doing my presentation. Its less than 10degC in Japan now..... This is my first trip to Japan and I have to go alone.. sight.... Flying off on Thursday night, report to company at 10am on Friday for meeting follow by presentation after lunch, then meeting again on Saturday and on the flight back in the evening.... Is that also considered been to Japan??? Other than Hotel, Airport & company, I don't have the time to go anywhere.....

Laws of Power

Recently I just watched Death Notes Part I & Part II. Learnt something very interesting is to observe the trend of crime. Lately I have been receiving some stupid coment from an anonymous and been trying to dig out this S.O.B. Previously I only know that this person is a Singaporean or at least a PR then by observing the time & date this S.O.B post his comment, I can be quite sure who he is now. Not many people have the time to read blog in the afternoon except a handful.

I know who you are now, why have you not changed abit. You are always like a rat, doing things in the dark, never had the courage to face anything like a man. I forgave you for stirring shit the other time and now you are acting childish again. I really look down on you for being a pussy. Is that how your parents brought you up or is that the way they behave too? Does it run in your family? Is that what your dad taught you to be as a grown-up? What's the point of having a penis when you stuck it up your own ass all the time?

Till today you still don't understand the rules of the games. Time & again when you leave your comment, I have the right to delete. Why? Because I am in control here in my blog. I really don't understand are you really stupid or idiot. What can you gain by doing so, a person with brain who don't think before he act is as good as brainless. Not just here, even in the real world, I have the say over you. Even now when I want to make you pay, I dare to tell you openly here and let you be on your guard. You had your fun and now its my turn. Watch how I am going to make you pay for it..... Never take my kindness as my weakness. You don't know me or where I came from so don't try to push your luck too far.

Year of Rat 'Huat Ah'

Finally its coming to the end of the long break. Mm.. I seems to look forward to returning to work. Mew fell sick yesterday and till now she is still having high fever. Guess I will have to take leave tomorrow to bring her to the clinic if she don't recover by then.

Since begining of last year, Mew had fever almost every month & it would last for a few days. I still remember sending her to hospital in the middle of the night a few times before. Guess I really need to spend more time taking care of her other than just working.

This morning, I spent a few hours washing & waxing my car. I should have listened to my friend's advise on the procedure for washing the number plate if I want to strike 4D. This evening's draw, all 4 numbers appeared in first prize but the sequence were wrong.....

Looked through the yellow ribbon website today hoping to apply for some volunteering work in prison but seems like not much position available. I have always been wanting to spend some time doing volunteering work in the prison but then I have been putting it on hold for a long time. Finally I decide to register today but only position available is teaching Art & Craft which I don't think I am up to it. Mm.... Maybe I should volunteer in SCORE ort SANA to follow up with ex-offenders.

A frog in some shit hole

2 more hours to Lunar New Year, sightz no activity for tonight. Bought a bottle of Bailey & some beer on my way back from work. Both my grandparents passed away last year so we can't celebrate Lunar New Year this year.

I received a comment from some anonymous just moments ago. This person, be it a guy, a gal or a slime which I guess most probably is, feels that 2 million is hell lot of money & think its impossible for me to reject when someone offered me 2 million to start a buiness. ' He who don't see far, don't live far either' . If I am as idiot as this person, I guess I might be bankrupt by now trying to start a business without any experience or skill.

I wish I can show him/her/it the real world. Of course I don't have that money now but I do not see mysef as not having it in a few years time. I used to think that if I am lucky to strike ToTo, I will be able to live without work for the rest of my life but think again, a few of my friends are multi-millionaire so why are they still working so hard. With what they have now, its enough for them & even their children to live without worries for the rest of their live. After chatting with them over time, I realised that I was just a frog in the well. Today I know there is someone out there who still think as I do 3 years back.

Maybe owning 1 million sound like something impossible to attain within their livespan to some failure but to some others, its like a pinch of salt. What a failure.... I am sure this 'it' who live in the well or even worst in some shit hole will always be a failure. Mmmm... remind me of someone I know who might be the 'anonymous'... Interesting......