Fear

First time I am not working for 4 solid days. Didn't really do much but bumping around the house. Accompanied Kend to collect his brand new car in the afternoon then we got split up as we drive to my place. I was doing over 100 and going faster then I released the accelerator and slowed down. I don't know what came to my mind at that moment, all I heard was J's voice.... Shit, I know I am going crazy again.

In the evening, Kend and I settled in a cozy cafe along Upper Thomson Rd. Again we were back to the same topic... Moving on and starting over again. Kend suggest dumping everything that will remind him of his ex and starting afresh. Is that possible?? I don't know, maybe I should dump myself away too in this case. He reminded me not to ever be serious in a relationship or be prepared to end up being hurt. Alone in my room now, I think of J again. Received an email from her a few days back. Knowing that she is doing well comforts me. Perhaps all I ever want in life is for her to happy, loved and cared. Doesn't really matter if I am the one to do so or not.

That's what I hate about being free, my mind wander off to somewhere it shouldn't and I go insane. When I was working 7 days a week, I didn't have the strength or time or think about all these. I am glad tomorrow is the begining of the week, I can buried myself in work again and put everything behind.