Me and my N80

Haha.... Finally the phone I have been waiting for is mine. Since late last year, I have been waiting for Nokia to launch N80 but there's no news of it. After a long wait, I finally have it. Now my blog would not be so bored with only words, there will be lots of photos too so dear reader, please keep a look out inthe coming blogs.

My Partner in sparing 

Passion...no more???

Went Barden last evening with Leongleong. Had a few drinks over dinner and went home straight. Haiz... what a boring friday night.... Are we too old to party??

Woke up at noon today. GS called me for coffee and we talked about bike again. Its a pain to choose between bike and car. Passion over comfort.... Perhaps the passion for bike has cooled down. I took his Honda CBR400 for a ride, didn't have the 'man and machine' feeling I once had. The ride was slightly bumpy as I am not that familiar with the clutch and throttle control like the past. I am not sure if I should start riding again as GS suggested. If only J is around, she would be able to decide for me....

Didn't want to go drinking tonight, just wanna stay at home and laze around. Wonder if I could stop drinking for at least 3 months to train up. The sand bag has been hanging there collecting dust for quite some time and I am getting out of shape. No way, I am not going to carry on this way. Gotta have some discipline and start some hard training from this minute.

Cheers

5 continous days of drinking since friday. Almost make it to 7 days of non-stop drinking but couldn't take it anymore.

First time I pray for boss to be back from his oversea trip soon. I really hate to attend meetings with all the stupid engineers whom just wanna implement some impractical stuff just for the sake of implementing. At times, I really wish to stand up and flip the table. I guess I am just a very technical person. I rather be spending time working with my men than entertaining them.

Missed my Japanese class today. Just as I was about to take flight I was stopped by my manager. My EA passed some wrong information without my consent and received tons of complaint from other department. I had to explain for his mistakes to my manager and manager of other department. By the time I am done, I was late for my class. Such a thing to happen just when its time for my appraisal haiz..... More explanations and meetings tomorrow.....

27 years old

Haiz..turning 27 in a couples of hour time. Last year this time, I was at Genting with J. It was the best birthday I had ever spent. Guess I will rememeber it for as long as I live. She told me she was my present. Maybe she forgot to tell me about the expiry date or maybe she did in a way or another but I didnt get it.....

From last birthday till now, I've to admit that I've changed alot. From my character to temper to thinking.... Along the way, I lost some and I gained some. I feel that I lost more than I gained. But maybe if someone else were to judge, I might seems to gain more than what I lost. Its almost quite impossible to achieve where I am now within such a short period, I am surprise too. But to me, J mean more than anything else in this world. Losing her is as good as losing everything. Nothing else matters since the day she left..... Although I am considered doing very well with my career, I seriously don't feel a thing about it at all. I am grateful for the opportunity my boss has given me and I did my best not to disappoint him. But there's no goal in my life anymore, I just live each day as it comes. I lost the ability to communicate with others since last year. I don't wish to have anyone entering my life or entering into other's life. Just wanna be an island by myself.... I could list down lots of friends in the past but now maybe only a handful maybe none...

My birthday wish?? I wish that J will always be happy, be loved and care for. May all the worries be away from her. Lastly....to see her again

Falling in love....again??

A friend of mine asked me this question today,'Will you ever fall in love again?' I don't know how to answer her. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. Nobody knows what will happen in the future. Just as I had mentioned, being alive means having hope.

Recently a friend told me that her boyfriend always scold her in front of others and she felt so embarassed. I asked her why does she still stay with him then? She could come up with 101 reasons or shall I say excuses for him. Perhaps love is really blind. Man and woman are of equal status now, its not like the past where men have the final say and can scold or beat up the wife. If you love the other party, you should have the basic respect and trust for each other.

There's hope..

One good reason for staying alive is there will always be hope. I have always been sad since J left and knowing that she will never be back. But I believes that as long as I am still alive, there's always hope. Be it 5 years or 10 years down the road, there might still be a slim chance of getting back together I guess. Even if it never happen at the end of the day, there's no regret cos I know I had tried my best and waited using my entire life.

Today is voting day but it also has another meaning for me. 10 years ago, 6th May 1996 was the day I signed my name on the contract to serve RSAF. There were over 100 of us signing. We strugged through our first 3 years together but not many made it to the 10th year. I didn't made it either. Some of those who made it left the force yesterday, mostly with regrets of signing on. Only a some handful stayed on.

To all my dear friends who are still in the force or who had left. Brothers forever...

11.46sec

IPPT finally over. Managed to pass with flying colors. Out of my expectation, completed 2.4km with 11mins 46sec and average of 4 points for every station. The weather turned bad just as I was about to start my 2.4km run and it was put on hold. Luckily the sky were cleared after waiting for a few minutes. Covered first 400m in 1min 30sec. I was targetting to completed the entire 2.4km in 12mins 40sec. As I was running my last 400m, I felt a sharp pain on my left chest. Every step felt like being stabbed on the chest. I almost gave up the run, I closed my eyes and think of J. Keep telling myself if I could take the pain when J left, this is nothing compared to it. I sprint at the last 200m and managed to clock 11min 46sec. When I crossed the finish line, I could hardly breath and pressed on my chest. Good thing about going electronic nowadays is that everything is so fast. The moment I complete my IPPT, my result was ready for collection.

Haiz.. I could get Silver award but I was not allowed to take chin-up as I broke my wrist in a bike accident even though I can do 10. Damm it....

IPPT

The big day is coming. IPPT tomorrow.....haiz..... Wonder if I can make it. Didn't really train much as it rained for the past few weeks. IPPT used to be no problem for me in the past. Spent a great deal of time jogging and boxing but since I started drinking like nobody business last year, my staminia dropped. Hardly able to complete 2.4km let alone passing. Have to depend on will-power to complete it... Let me review my status
1. Chin-up: 6 to pass shouldn't be a problem since I am able to hit about 10 on normal days.
2. Standing board jump: Haven't tried for a year. In doubt....
3. Shutter run: Big problem.....
4. Sit-up: Never in my life have I actually did it.....
5. 2.4km: Try my best