He who preaches does what he preached

Today I heard a short discussion about pain on the radio. We feel pain when we lost something or someone but the fact is there is no physical wound on our body so where does the pain came from?

According to the speaker, we feel the pain because we dare not face it & most importantly not willing to let go. Being not willing to face reality keeps us in denial state. We refuse to accept what had happened and let go of it to move on. Being in pain is in fact not a bad thing. Most of us remember a sad and touching movie rather than a comedy. If you have never been in great pain & suffering all your life, its not a complete life. Not being able to accept will cause the pain to stay with you forever. Maybe you can run away from it and get on with your life but few months down the road when you recalled the past, you will feel sad again. The only way to move on is to accept what had happened and live with it.

Perhaps I have said the thing too to my friends when they lost their spouses or girlfriend but what about myself? Its been more than a year but I haven't move on. Not that I don't know the way to do so but I refuse to. So why is it so? I can choose to move on but I didn't... Maybe it a once in a lifetime chance for me. I know that the chance is slim but if I hanged on, there is still a one in a millionth chance. If I don't, I might live to regret when on my dying breathe.

A few weeks back, J asked me why am I still willing to help her despite what she did to me. My answer was... Because you are you....