Take my life....

Last night J told me she is getting married soon. I spent the whole night lying on the bed looking at the ceiling. I could feel tears flowing down my cheek, yes I cried... Why is this happening to me again? Its been more than a year since we ended but why am I still hanging on to?? I remember every little thing that she told me and everything we went through together flashed through my mind just like watching someone else's story........

This morning I went back to office hoping to buried myself in work. But she was all I have in my mind. After work I met Ken and Keith for a drink. Why am I still alive today??? I really hate you. Why did you let me see her again after I given up all hopes of ever contacting her?? If you feel that I haven't gone through enough, take my life too. Promise me that you will bring joy and laughter to her life, promise me that she would not shed a single tear of sadness that's all I asked of you. I told you before that nothing else matter to me more than her happiness. I am all yours to take...

You told me to let go and you will mend my heart but you didn't.... I have given up all hopes in life. What's the point of keeping me alive to go through all this?? You told me that I will see the light at the end of the tunnel someday but what do I get in the end??? I hanged on, I worked hard, I do everything I could with all my best..... But all I get was disappointment time and again. If there's is something you can do for me, give her all the happiness you can and let me have all the sufferings.

J once told me that love songs are all very well written but it never happen in reality. I made it happen in our song. No matter if she love me or hate me, I will always be there for her....