Tired but gotta hang on...

Dragged myself to class last evening after work. I felt so lost in the class..... everyone seems to be well prepared while I am struggling through. Halfway through the class, Angel kept messaging me to meet her for a drink after my class. Really not in the mood to drink, tried rejecting her with various reasons but she insisted on meeting even if its just for an hour so I called Owster and dragged him along. While we were drinking, she suggested coming over to my place to cook for me on Sunday. My only reply was ' No thanks, you are not J... if you are, I will be the one cooking for you.....' Wonder if its too harsh to say that... After a couple of drinks, I left with Owster leaving her behind with her friends.

Sometimes I wonder why I totally lost interests in relationship. After J, a few women appeared in my life but I always back up whenever we reached the verge of starting a relationsip. I told Owster I had no confident in relationship or woman anymore. After what happened to me and what I see happening to friends around me, I am really afraid. Actually there's one girl whom I really admire alot. Not because of her beauty (though she is indeed very attractive) but of her character and positive attitude. She is very different from any other woman in the way that her determination and strength really attracted me. Despite having setbacks but she just won't give up on what she wants. Well too bad its totally impossible between us partly because she is taken, partly because of difference in background. Conclusion I missed the boat..... But still feels good to have her as a friend.

Just as I was packing up to leave the office, my manager walked over to start a casual chat with me. For the first time after 2 years of working, he came over to ask me if things were going on well for me. Depending on how you see it, maybe he can tell that I am really busy with new plant or he feels that I am lazing around so came over to check on me....

Feel like taking leave but because of a promised I made to my principle engineer, had to finish by the deadline set by myself no matter how many hours I had to work from now till next week. Even if I had to stay 24hours, I have to complete it.....