To go or not to go

I start to wonder if I am a cow in my previous life.. err.. I mean bull. Whenever I have lots of work to do, I feel so energetic but once I finish a project, I feel so restless... Even though it may be stress in the process of finding a solution or answer but I kind of like it. Especially the feeling when you finally solve it. Its a sense of achievement that money can't buy. I am running out of time, there are so many challenging stuffs coming up at the new plant but my time in this company is almost up.... Hope I can finish it all before I go.

Boss talked to me again this afternoon. For the first time, he wanted me to go on leave at the end of the year and then back to the same old topic.... to reconsider about leaving.... I really don't know what to say. He told me that the VP is starting to notice my effort and I have a bright future here. I admit that I would be worried for my assistants if I leave as they are still so fresh and inexperience. Espcially those that I personally employed, feel so irresponsible to leave them like that. After some time if they still failed to pick up, they will be walked over and pushed around by other groups. At least now, boss and I am standing in front of them to shield them. Whatever happens, I will still answer for their mistakes though I would scold them hard to make them remember their mistakes. Perhaps now they are the ones that make me feel like staying especially seeing them improve day by day. Still remember when this batch of young chaps first came, I almost wanna kill them all.... Guess everything had an end... nothing last forever... There is always a time to bid good-bye.

I feel that one thing I am blessed with is no matter where I worked, I am always well taken care of by my superior. Back in the Air-force, I would quarrel with pilots even while flying or even to other officers in the hangar but my Officer always backed me up. Now in this company, I am known to be a hooligan engineer. Even when I was an engineer assistant, I quarrel with some engineer and even scolded him. It made him real angry that he complaint to my boss, manager and even HR. He swear to get me out of this company but at the end of the day, nothing happen...

Just like last year, I didn't sign up for the ADD. Boss want me to join his table but I rejected. I told him that if I am in his table, I don't feel comfortable. If I join my assistants, they might not feel comfortable. So to make everyone happy, I decided not to go....

My gastric problem is back again, the pain was so unbearable this afternoon that even 5 panadols can't numb the pain. For the first time after so many months, one of my assistant asked me to join them for lunch but too bad it came at the wrong time. Struggled to complete my stuff at the new plant and returned to the office. Took the remaining 5 panadols with coffee.... then rushed through some mails and took a cab back. Wasn't in the mood for dinner, had a coffee and meet up with friends for beer at a coffeeshop nearby.