Move on... blindly

Alot of couples have this question in mind or rather have asked their other half before 'why do you love me or what do you love about me?' I guess there is no answer to that. Alot of people have also asked questions like what sort of guy or gal you like. We can describe the person as in physical appearance or character but in actual fact we might not fall for the person when he or she appear. I might not be able to accept a plump and ugly girl but if J were to turn plump and ugly, I would still love her as before. I don't know the reason too, all I know is because its her.....

Maybe you might meet 2 person of equal qualites but you will only have feeling for one of them which even you can't explain. I really envy those people who can move on easily after a failed relationship. They will find another person and start another relationship in no time but I just can't. Everyone tells me its takes time and I will slowly walk out of this. Is that really true?? Maybe I am too stubborn or rather my heart is too stubborn. At work, I am always ready for changes. I decide base on result and establish direction. At any point of time, I am always ready to change the direction if there is new development in the test but not in matters of the heart.

Last night while I was in the office, Angel called me out for a drink. She held my hand and leaned on me in the pub. End of the day she gave me a hug and kissed me.... I couldn't understand why... Perhaps till today, I am not ready to accept anyone else into my life and never will. She has the looks and everything but I just can't accept her. CT told me to give it a try and see how things develop from here... Maybe I can just ignore my heart and be with her but is that really life?? Promised her I will be meeting her for dinner and movie tonight.....

As we grown older, we clearly know what we want in life but is that good or bad. We decide what sort of job we work, what sort of car we drive, what sort of life we live, what sort of person we love... The more we know or the more we want, the more complicated life get. I asked CT if I am consider sucessful and she said I am but to me, I am a total failure.... I have all that I don't desire and I don't have what my heart desire most. All I want is a simple life with the person I love most.