Ouch!!

Finally home after 18hrs of work... Had a bad fall at the stairway just now. Of all places, I hurt my broken wrist again. I struggled to stand up and walked away as though nothing had happened. After going through so much, I am used to keeping slient even in great pain. I have only myself to depend on in this world.

In another 4 hours, I will be on my way to work again. I start to question myself, 'why am I working so hard?' Definitely not for another promotion or a higher bonus...... Is this consider self-destruction? I can't think at all now.. Tomorrow morning is the monthly MBO again, my monthly nightmare.... All I know is I just hope one day I will just drop dead while walking or while resting. I know very well I can't let go of her yet its a fact I had to face. I start to feel very lost, living aimlessly looking for a reason to live on....