'小白' Part II

Introducing '小白'

Run forest run...

In another 2 months time, its my IPPT again... Sigh... haven't jogged for a year and now I am back to the track again this evening. Took almost 14mins to complete....2km. Ok ok I know its 2.4km but that's all I can cover today. Feel my whole body aching..... But then again, it feel good to be sweating like a dog. I feel so fresh after bathing... This wednesday I am gonna cover the entire 2.4km maybe not in 12min 40sec bt defintely gona complete the entire course.

Although I hardly jogged for a year but the fact is I love jogging. To me, its not just physical training but also on the mind. I used to jog 5km alone every evening when I was in the force. Whenever I knock off, I always feel so tired to go jogging but I pushed myself to put on my PT attire and hit the road. Its about discipline and determination. At times, I feel like stopping to walk but I always push myself and encourage myself along the way till I reach the finishing line. Its a good training for the mind, just like in my daily life, there are times when I feel so tired and feel like throwing in the towel but I endured and pulled through.

What exactly does sucess mean and what exactly does failure mean? I asked myself countless time in my life. Trying to find an answer all these while but in vain... I guess sucess mean denying failure and failure mean giving up sucess. Since I was a kid, I always want a clear answer between right and wrong, good and bad but as I grew up, I realise there is never a clear answer. We all live in a grey zone, most important is to be true to yourself.

Lesson Learnt

Its been a tough yet fufiling week, managed to accomplish all the jobs set with the assistance of my few good guys left. Finally the management has given me the green light to increase my manpower. This time I am gonna be very careful in choosing the right candidates. I feel that for a very long time, I had been very naive and softhearted. I believe in others too easily and failed to see the monster behind the mask. After all this incidents, I learnt my lesson and swear never to fall for all the bullshit anymore. I have paid a high price for it but I am gonna remember it forever...

Feel so tired now... my eyes can hardly open but as I watched her sleeping peacefully by my side, all my worries are gone. She is like a little cat, always full of energy and curious about everything around her. At times she look tired or lazy but when something gets attention, she sprung up and gets energetic again.

Oh no... I doze off while writing my blog... ZZZzzzzz

Laws of Power

Lunar New Year is finally over.... For the first time after so many years, I didn't gamble during this period nor did I really drink. Other than the 2 official public holidays, I spent the rest of Lunar New Year at work. I don't really feel it this year. Maybe things weren't going smooth for me to have the mood.....

I had always abide the laws of power for so many years and just once I let my guard off, I am caught with my pants down. I can see it as a good thing or a bad thing. The good thing is I am clear of the situation at work now and able to plan with clear mind, the bad thing is till today then I learn how bad am I at management. With a mind to leave this job and start afresh else where initially but now that I am faced with so many problems had made me stay. Perhaps I am really very stubborn, facing with so much problems and pressure from the top to cut down on budget, I find it even more challenging to stay on. When I first joined this group, I watched my seniors left one after the other. I wanted to leave at that time too but something just made me stay on, maybe its my stubborness or interest. Day by day, I overcome each and every problem and watch the group grew stronger and stronger. Now that I am sitting on top of the group, I feel it going downhill again. Its even more tough than the past to bring it back to the top again as things has changed. Time is an issue now, technology has changed, the people working for me has changed.... But nothing is going to bring me or the group down. Till the last man left standing, I will not give up. Even if everyone turns their back on me, I will uphold the group....